Do you consider yourself a mature person? What, according to you, is maturity?
While we believe that maturity is not measured by age, it is instead a honed attitude or built with experience. It’s not just about how you look or measured by the signs and lines of time. It’s got more to do with who you are.
When it comes to dating, both men and women agree that there’s a world of difference between dating mature partners and immature ones. Dating a mature partner, and we aren’t referring to age, is said to bring many benefits to the table. It spells the difference between having a relationship that enhances you or exasperates you.
While it may not be perfect – (which relationship is?), dating a mature significant other has its perks, and that’s what can make it worth pursuing.
Many who have dated mature partners have only good things to say about the relationship. Even when they leave the relationship, they can reflect lovingly and without post-breakup negativity. There must be a very good reason for that.
Getting to know the mature man or woman
A mature partner is someone with a strong sense of self that encourages their partner to live their best life without worries or codependency of influencing their behavior and decisions. Let’s have a look at some of the things that differentiate mature adults and set them apart.
They don’t easily get distracted
Confident mature people focus on what matters. They are not easily affected by what society thinks or says about them or about their relationship with you. They don’t let themselves get side-tracked. Instead, they focus their resources on things that benefit them and help them grow.
Guessing is not their game
A mature female or male tackles a problem with precision and doesn’t simply make uneducated guesses. She/he is past the clueless stage of not knowing how and why to do things. Instead, you’ll find them doing things with a logical flow which makes them dependable problem-solvers and decision-makers.
They don’t have a pity party
Mature adults make mistakes just like everyone else. The only difference here is that they are quick to make the necessary corrections and move on. They may feel embarrassed, but they refuse to go down the rabbit hole of self-pity.
They know exactly what they want and they’re not afraid to go for it
They don’t let fear control their life. For example, a mature person is not afraid to go after what they want. A mature person realizes there are things to fear but knows how to handle them allowing for bigger and better opportunities and possibilities. A mature person will take risks and put themselves outside of their comfort zone.
They don’t put their partner’s pleasure at a higher priority than their own
For a mature person, sex and romance have to be honest and real. They’ll let you know exactly what they want in and out of bed. They are also comfortable with their bodies and know the way around yours. They are confident enough to focus on their own pleasure and do not worry about what anyone else will think.
According to Dr. Hernando Chaves, a licensed marriage and family therapist, older, mature ladies have a better understanding of what makes them happy and what qualities in a partner complement them best as they mature as individuals.
They don’t expect you to complete them but to complement them
A matured person doesn’t need his or her partner, to feel complete, but having them around gives more meaning to that completeness. For example, a mature female may value being financially independent. This takes the pressure off the partner to rise to the challenge of making her feel whole and providing for her needs. With a mature person, you get to simply enjoy the company of someone whose sense of worth doesn’t depend on you.
They don’t have unrealistic expectations of you
They don’t see you as a knight in shining armor or a caped hero to a damsel in distress. Mature partnerships are aware of flaws in partners and don’t make a big deal out of it. A mature partner is very rarely petty or picky. They’d rather spend their energy on more important things than argue about taking a wrong turn.
They don’t go around pleasing people and seeking validation
Mature adults have come to terms with who they are and are comfortable with it. They don’t tiptoe their way around people trying not to hurt feelings, including those in your circle. They don’t spend energy and time getting approval. It’s not that they don’t care, they just don’t let other people’s opinions don’t concern them. A partner’s or significant other’s opinion may matter to them, but a mature person does not let it define him or her.
They’re comfortable with their partner’s success
There’s no room for competition or insecurities when you are in a romantic relationship. A mature partner goes about living their lives the best way they can while allowing their partner’s room to grow too, individually and together as well. They don’t hamper your growth, instead, they are proud of it.
They don’t allow themselves to be bullied
Mature adults understand and enforce boundaries. Grown men and women will not resort to pressure or disrespect. Mature adults exhibit strong problem-solving skills and will not resort to manipulation. They will stand behind their opinion and express them confidently.
What does a mature partner want in a relationship?
At the end of the day, age is just a number, and mature people want what every other person out there wants- respect, accountability, passion, and fun.
According to Dr. Robert Waldinger, a psychiatrist with Harvard-affiliated Massachusetts General Hospital, “Good, close relationships appear to buffer us from the problems of getting old,” This is why mature adults having relationships ensure that they are in a healthy one that has the following:
- Mutual love and respect
- Personal space
- Shared values
While it’s easier to love a mature adult, you also need to remember that the relationship, like any other needs to be nurtured and the values reciprocated. Loving a mature significant other means also embracing all of their facets, appreciating their worth, and treating each other with mutual respect, things you are expected to do in any relationship for that matter.
Having said that, what’s also important to remember is that a happy relationship with any partner can only be possible when you have a happy relationship with yourself. In the words of Robert Morley – “to fall in love with yourself is the first secret to happiness.”