Nurturing Intimacy in Long Term Relationships

by VibePlanet editorial team
Apr 19, 2021

Love is such a beautiful idea. However, in relationships, love often fails. In long-term relationships, love differs from desire. Thus, even when love is present, passion and intimacy may wane. This situation could arise due to several factors. For instance, couples sometimes get busy with their everyday activities, unwilling or unable to devote attention or care to their partners. Maybe it could even be old age and all of the body confidence issues that come with it. Finally, loss of intimacy can arise from familiarity. 

Becoming intimately familiar with your partner could lead to boredom, and gradually that way, intimacy could fade. Whatever the situation is, never forget that you can ignite the fires of your relationship again. If you feel that the intimacy level with your partner is dropping, you have to act fast. In this discussion, we show you how to regain the intimacy you felt with your partner at the start, regardless of how long you two have been together.

What Intimacy in Relationships Really Means

In its simplest terms, intimacy means closeness. It refers to the deep connection people feel for one another, which often defies any explanation. You can identify it by the glow that comes to your face on sighting the other person or the deep-seated satisfaction you feel when they have their arms around you.

Intimacy has just one definition but manifests in different forms. Thus, the major types of intimacy include emotional closeness and sexual intimacy. Sexual intimacy comes easier than the former. Because the bond formed in sexual intercourse can be fleeting, existing just for the moment. However, emotional intimacy matures slowly and so can stand the test of time. The connection between emotional and sexual intimacy is such that without the bedrock of the former, sexual intimacy slowly fizzles away with time.

Why Cultivating Intimacy is Vital for Lasting Relationships 

Most times, people who have intimacy issues are unaware of the reasons they ought to cultivate an ever-burning desire in their relationships. In some cases, they understand the role of developing sexual intimacy but fail to put the same level of effort into emotional intimacy. However, for any relationship to be healthy, both types of intimacy must flourish.

Generally, then, what is the importance of intimacy in a relationship? In the first place, it offers a sense of security to both partners. Furthermore, building intimacy strengthens the connection; cheating often springs up when intimacy is absent. Finally, intimacy can also affect your physical health positively. Simply put, you can become healthier simply by getting closer to your partner. 

How To Foster Emotional Intimacy in a Relationship

Do not be fooled by what you see on the television; no relationship starts out being rock-solid. Partners consciously have to work on enhancing the strength of their connection to each other. Emotional intimacy is a little tricky because there are no physical parameters to judge its effectiveness. However, implementing the points below will positively impact the emotional intimacy in your relationship.

Non-judgmental Listening

People love feeling seen and heard. An instance where this is most evident is during conversations. Build emotional intimacy with your significant other by actively listening when they speak to you. Make eye contact. Pick up non-verbal cues from what they say and respond appropriately. These little acts convey a whole lot to others.

Express Gratitude for the Little Things

You can never go wrong with gratitude. Most people are great at acknowledging grand gestures but do not do the same for seemingly inconsequential acts. However, the little things often carry more emotional weight. Thus, if your partner takes out the trash without needing to remind them, it’s important to acknowledge it. If they drive you to the airport, thank them for that also. It is the little things that can matter the most.

Indulge Each Other’s Passions

Indulging the passion of your partner is one way to worm your way into their hearts. Whether painting or sculpting or collecting postal stamps, share their enthusiasm and watch your emotional connection grow.

Do Things That Are Important and Meaningful Together

Always be there for the small and big events your significant other cherishes. Also, make sure that you two share all your special moments. By so doing, you would be building memories. Thus, any time they look back to that special moment, you’d be right there beside them.

How To Encourage Sexual Intimacy With Your Partner

It is indeed possible to improve the sexual and physical intimacy you experience in your relationship—a few suggestions on how to go about that follow.

Sexual Selfishness

It might seem contradictory, but in reality, it isn’t. You need a little sexual selfishness to improve desire and longing in a relationship. Selfishness here requires you to be in perfect sync with your sexual self, i.e., the things that turn you on and the ones that are simply off-putting. It is quite helpful because you are guiding your partner to your Nirvana. However, beyond its ability to make sex more enjoyable, sexual selfishness makes you desirable to your partner, a crucial element you need for sexual intimacy.

Responsiveness to Partner

Sexual excitement comes from being needed. Long-term relationship sex depends on constant responsiveness. Your partner should know that you want them. Also, it would help if you reminded them of this often enough. It’s just one way to make sex more interesting.


Mindfulness is also another ingredient to improve desire in long-term relationships. It refers to the practice of being present in every situation, fully enjoying and engaging with the moment. To practice mindfulness, you have to quiet not just your outside environment but your inner space too. It flows from the inside to the outside. Experts suggest that meditation and yoga are some of the practices to improve mindfulness. Sexual mindfulness, the act of being keenly aware during sex, can spice up sex in long-term relationships. Reliable research has also highlighted several other benefits of sexual mindfulness for couples.

Spice Up Sex

Sex with the same partner can become boring, but it should not. It is even more important in a long-term relationship where desire has the tendency to fizzle out. Always be on the lookout for new tricks to pull off in the bedroom. If you have not already, try pleasure toys and other sex gadgets. These are proven to spice up sex in a long-term relationship. You can try out different sexual positions also. To keep desire in a long-term relationship, you must be willing to try out new things sexually. So, even if the other party has a fantasy or fetish, do well to indulge them.

Stay Honest About Satisfaction and Desires

You do yourself no favors if you are dishonest with your partner regarding likes and dislikes during sex. It is especially horrendous for long-term relationships. Thus, always communicate clearly your sweet spots to your partner. The secret to desire in a long-term relationship is the other party’s ability to predict how you’ll react to any sexual act. It gives them the boldness to try out new things along that line. It is also one sure way to rekindle sexual desire in a long-term relationship.


Intimacy does appear to be a buzzword these days. However, that has not diminished its importance. If you think your intimacy level is low, you can spice it up following the steps above. Do understand that what works for one couple may not work for another. Also, leave room to be surprised and shocked by your partner. Seeing them in a new light might be the spark to fan your intimacy flames once more.

By admin

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